I really don't post very often, and I try not to feel guilt about that. In fact, when I decided to start this blog, I made an agreement with myself that I would have no rules or guidelines about how often I expected myself to post, and that I would make it as sporadic as I wanted to. Why? Well, because I actually have a very full Witchy life as it is. As the leader of a coven and a founding member of a tradition (on top of having a house and husband to keep track of, numerous animals to take care of, acres of land to tend to, and my own business to run), I typically have more on my plate than I know how I'm going to handle. Of course, this begs the question of why I would put another thing on my plate by starting this blog to begin with. I guess it goes back to the general theme of this blog, which is balance. As much as I love my coven and tradition life, I know that I need an outlet and a project that is entirely my own. I need a venue where my mind can be exercised and decompressed, before I have to jump head-long into the next task. This is why I didn't want to pressure myself to have a self-imposed posting schedule. The point of this is to create a way to de-stress....not to create more stress.
Still, though, with all of the things that consume my time, it can be hard to find time to tend to this blog as much as even I'd like to, which does sometimes create guilt. Not because I believe I'm letting my numerous readers down...come on, I have 3 followers! Really, it's because it's just one more indication that I'm probably not taking the personal time that I need for myself. But as the list of coven and tradition tasks I need to complete gets longer rather than shorter, it's hard to justify spending any amount of free time on something as seemingly pointless and unproductive as a blog post. Here is a taste of what I'm talking about...
On the coven level, I have to coordinate things between all of our meetings, making sure that all of our members are on the same page about where we're meeting, what we're doing, what they need to bring, etc. Sometimes the simple act of scheduling can be a minor miracle. At these meetings, I have to help create and take part in amazing rituals and activities that hopefully leave everyone feeling fulfilled. The picture above is of me being face-painted by one of my coven sisters in preparation for one such ritual--our annual Greening of the Earth. I also have to teach our coven students, and help provide materials and resources to other teachers in our coven, making sure that everyone is getting what they are supposed to out of the experience. I have to help make sure that there are events that our seekers can attend, and hopefully attend them myself, so that these people who we don't know yet have some opportunity to get to know us if they feel drawn to a path with us. And then I have the ever-exciting task of helping to figure out the best, most positive, least harmful way to handle problems when they arise. That's a basic overview.
On the tradition level, I have to do what I can to maintain the integrity of our fledgling tradition, making sure that all of our members are on the same page, and are staying on the same page as we move ahead. I have to do something to make sure that all of our members across the country feel in some way connected to one another, which currently means things like working on the tradition-wide newsletter and maintaining our online forum. I have to periodically touch base with other coven leaders in the tradition, to make sure that things are going OK for them, and ensure that all of our members are informed about the important stuff and on the same page with one another. I have to help teach our distance students. I have just finished with one, and am just getting started with another. And, on top of this and more, almost two years into it, I am still working on the process of formalizing the whole thing, getting everything down on paper. Why, you may ask, is that taking so long? Part of it is because certain jobs, such as writing all of the classes for our student grove, were just huge tasks to begin with and were just going to take a long time no matter what. The same could be said for other projects, such as the coven bylaws. The other part of it is that as we go along, new needs present themselves, which we knew would happen. So new things get added to the list, such as outlining a solitary path within the tradition, which wasn't really part of the original plan.
All in all, it's a lot of work, and I don't really have any way of knowing when it will let up. If things continue to be added to the list before other things are marked off, maybe never. All of this brings me to the point of this post. It isn't a complaint, though I know it could be read that way. In truth, I love it and I wouldn't have it any other way. I am just one of those people whose spiritual paths are intended to be largely fulfilled via spiritual leadership, and I don't think that will ever change. For much of the time I have been on this path, even in times when I have thought I was too burned out to keep up that role, it didn't take long before I felt that call again. The point, I guess, really does go back to balance. Seeking a balance in the Craft isn't only about seeking out both the light and dark energies of nature. It is also about seeking a balance between the drives and desires within yourself. It is about balancing your path as a Witch against all of the other responsibilities, hobbies, and tasks of your daily life, making sure that you are leaving yourself time for each (and how many of us let our Craft fall to the wayside in the face of everything else?). It is about balancing your personal Craft against your coven life, making sure that you are contributing to your coven what is expected of you, without neglecting your own personal growth. And particularly for someone like me, in a leadership position, it is about balancing the administrative tasks that are related to my path against the real magic of being a Witch, making sure that I am not drowning in responsibilities to such an extent that I don't give myself time in the day to feel that spark that magic ignites within me and inspires me to be a Witch.
It's an ongoing struggle for so many Witches I know. Sometimes I feel it is brought about by the fact that our path is one that doesn't always fit in seamlessly with the rest of our lives. Of course it informs our every action and we do find ways to weave magic throughout every part of our lives. But the fact is that the real pursuit of our Craft isn't always supported, whether the culprit is the spouse who would much rather have you hang out and watch tv with him than go off into the other room to meditate, the employer who doesn't want to give you time off to celebrate your holidays, the family members who try to talk you out of your choice of path, or the customers who really expect your store to be open on Yule because they are still doing their Christmas shopping. Expectations surround us that don't allow room for this path that is still pretty far off the beaten one. When we immerse ourselves in our spirituality and our coven, we are simply viewed much differently than those Christians who choose to immerse themselves in their faith and their church. Of course, the other side of the dilemma is that Witches often tend to be creative, eclectic people who have diverse interests and a desire to enrich themselves on multiple levels. So sometimes we are our own culprits. We try to pursue more interests and activities than we could possibly have enough time in the day for. Whether the culprit is the expectations of others or the expectations we have of ourselves, I don't really know what the solution is. I just know how important it is to seek out that balance, and make sure that you are doing something every day that reconnects you with the magic of Witchcraft and reminds you why you embarked upon this path in the first place. It won't happen in big ways every day. It simply won't. And it isn't productive to feel guilty about that. So maybe the answer is to focus on the simple wins. Sometimes that moment might be as small as finding yourself outside in the evening, awestruck by the smell of honeysuckle and the sight of fireflies reaching up toward a crescent moon. But at least it's something, and in the right mindset, moments like that are magical. So personally, I'll take those simple wins where I can find them, and everything else will be icing on the cake! Such are the life and times of a busy Witch.
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